A Measure of Inadequacy

How do we measure that which we consider fulfilling, in comparison to what we find inadequate? There is, of course, no universal answer. However, I find that many individual's judge according to what they find inadequate everyday, and when someone does not meet this quota, it is made known. Honestly, carrying on a facade for the world is exhausting and impossible. No one can really be completely adequate for anyone else, sometimes not even for themselves. Too much to think about, if you ask me. But perhaps enough to consider.

Christmas is a funny little holiday. I love it too much. I find that when its over, I get sad for some reason. Taking down all the decorations, feeling just a little bit older knowing next year I'll probably get a vacuum cleaner, wondering how many more Christmases I will spend in this area or will be able to spend with my immediate and extended family; the works essentially. It is a little overwhelming, but needless to say, I seem to digest it and get on with my life. I think its the spring semester. I can never seem to look forward to walking across a freezing cold campus for three months. Go figure?

Some individual's find repetition to be comfortable. I have been one of these individual's for quite some time, but lately, I've found consistency to be of the boring, dreary nature. I feel I've been riding on a train, the same scenery, same stop, same well wishes and let downs, for a long time. I want to do things spur of the moment, make weird decisions, and be okay with it. Perhaps I'm going through a mid-life crisis or something? Either that, or I'm on the brink of some odd change. Change is quite intimidating and scary, however, its necessary and I'm coming to terms with that. I think having a good friend deciding to move to Vietnam for a year has given me some well-to-do inspiration. Thanks, Jackie. I'm running with it.

Speaking of spur of the moment decisions, I'm really craving a trip somewhere. I don't know where exactly, however, I really don't know how I'm going to compete with the last two. Florida two years ago, and California the year before, all on money that I most definitely didn't have to spend. However, the experience was always worth it. I really would like to go out east, New York mostly, but anywhere out of Iowa (with no snow) will be much appreciated. Wishful thinking, I know, but I like it. :)